Canada’s Entire Federal Debt is Paid Off One Day After Cannabis Legalization

This story is fake; and is only meant for satirical purposes.

(The AEGIS Alliance) – In under 24 hours following cannabis becoming legalized in Canada, the Federal Government made a big announcement that they made so much tax revenue money from legal weed sales that they were able to pay off the entire country’s debt of $650 Billion.

“I told you all, this legal cannabis thing, is like, totally cool, man” stated Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who looked much less appealing than he usually does with eyes glistening red as blood. “It’s pretty far out! We were in crippling debt one day and then the next it’s all gone like it was never there. It’s just another thing that makes Canada a great country!”

Millions of potheads in Canada were lining up outside their local cannabis shops to make legal purchases of weed and pay their taxes for the first time in Canadian history.

“It’s sort of like the 1960’s is happening again! But only this time around the government actually loves us! Pretty groovy!” says one man from Ottawa, who bought a few hash brownies and around a half dozen spliffs. “Who would think getting stoned could have such a positive result on Canada’s economy! This is way better than those oil sands, dude!”

The Canadian Government quickly reported the financial benefits of their new legislation.

We had a $300 billion deficit by ten o’clock this morning,” stated Minister of Finance Bill Morneau. “Sales remained steady throughout the day and by the time this evening came around our old debt that built up over decades was completely erased. Right on! Thank you, cannabis!” he added as his glossy eyes glared.

The reduction of debt strategy is being praised by economists as kind of a miracle of economics. Although, a few are suspecting that the Finance Minister was high on cannabis when the calculations were being made.

Now if only the US would follow suit and do the same seeing as what it all means for American’s travelling to Canada.

Featured Image Credit: CC/Flickr/Rick Obst

Based on the satirical article by The Daily Bonnet.

Kyle James Lee – The AEGIS Alliance – This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.




Subscribe to our email Newsletter

Kyle James Lee

Kyle James Lee is the Majority Owner of The AEGIS Alliance. He studied in college for Media Arts & Game Development. Skills include Writer/Article Writer, Graphic Design, Web Design, and Video Production.